The Grumbling Hive

By Bernard Mandeville
Edited by Jack Lynch

The text is transcribed from the 1705 edition of The Grumbling Hive. A few short passages that are illegible in that edition are supplied from The Fable of the Bees (London, 1714).

THEGrumbling Hive
K N A V E STurn'd HONEST.

A Spacious Hive well stock'd with Bees,
That lived in Luxury and Ease;And yet as fam'd for Laws and Arms,As yielding large and early Swarms;Was counted the great Nursery [5]Of Sciences and Industry.No Bees had better Government,More Fickleness, or less Content.They were not Slaves to Tyranny,Nor ruled by wild Democracy; [10]But Kings, that could not wrong, becauseTheir Power was circumscrib'd by Laws.
These Insects lived like Men, and allOur Actions they perform'd in small:They did whatever's done in Town, [15]And what belongs to Sword, or Gown:Tho' th'Artful Works, by nible Slight;Of minute Limbs, 'scaped Human SightYet we've no Engines; Labourers,Ships, Castles, Arms, Artificers, [20]Craft, Science, Shop, or Instrument,But they had an Equivalent:Which, since their Language is unknown,Must be call'd, as we do our own.As grant, that among other Things [25]They wanted Dice, yet they had Kings;And those had Guards; from whence we mayJustly conclude, they had some Play;Unless a Regiment be shewnOf Soldiers, that make use of none. [30]
Vast Numbers thronged the fruitful Hive;Yet those vast Numbers made 'em thrive;Millions endeavouring to supplyEach other's Lust and Vanity;Whilst other Millions were employ'd, [35]To see their Handy-works destroy'd;They furnish'd half the Universe;Yet had more Work than Labourers.Some with vast Stocks, and little PainsJump'd into Business of great Gains; [40]And some were damn'd to Sythes and Spades,And all those hard laborious Trades;Where willing Wretches daily sweat,And wear out Strength and Limbs to eat:Whilst others follow'd Mysteries, [45]To which few Folks bind Prentices;That want no Stock, but that of Brass,And may set up without a Cross;As Sharpers, Parasites, Pimps, Players,Pick-Pockets, Coiners, Quacks, Sooth-Sayers, [50]And all those, that, in EnmityWith down-right Working, cunninglyConvert to their own Use the LabourOf their good-natur'd heedless Neighbour:These were called Knaves; but, bar the Name, [55]The grave Industrious were the Same.All Trades and Places knew some Cheat,No Calling was without Deceit.
The Lawyers, of whose Art the BasisWas raising Feuds and splitting Cases, [60]Opposed all Registers, that CheatsMight make more Work with dipt Estates;As were't unlawful, that one's own,Without a Law-Suit, should be known.They kept off Hearings wilfully, [65]To finger the retaining Fee;And to defend a wicked Cause,Examin'd and survey'd the Laws;As Burglars Shops and Houses do;To find out where they'd best break through. [70]
Physicians valued Fame and WealthAbove the drooping Patient's Health,Or their own Skill: The greatest PartStudy'd, instead of Rules of Art,Grave pensive Looks, and dull Behaviour; [75]To gain th'Apothecary's Favour,The Praise of Mid wives, Priests and all,That served at Birth, or Funeral;To bear with th'ever-talking Tribe,And hear my Lady's Aunt prescribe; [80]With formal Smile, and kind How d'ye,To fawn on all the Family;And, which of all the greatest Curse is,T'endure th'Impertinence of Nurses.
Among the many Priests of Jove, [85]Hir'd to draw Blessings from Above,Some few were learn'd and eloquent,But Thousands hot and ignorant:Yet all past Muster, that could hideTheir Sloth, Lust, Avarice and Pride; [90]For which, they were as famed, as TaylorsFor Cabbage; or for Brandy, Sailors:Some meagre look'd, and meanly cladWould mystically pray for Bread,Meaning by that an ample Store, [95]Yet lit'rally receiv'd no more;And, whilst these holy Drudges starv'd,Some lazy Ones, for which they serv'd,Indulg'd their Ease, with all the GracesOf Health and Plenty in their Faces. [100]
The Soldiers, that were forced to fight,If they survived, got Honour by't;Tho' some, that shunn'd the bloody Fray,Had Limbs shot off, that ran away:Some valiant Gen'rals fought the Foe; [105]Others took Bribes to let them go:Some ventur'd always, where 'twas warm;Lost now a Leg, and then an Arm;Till quite disabled, and put by,They lived on half their Salary; [110]Whilst others never came in Play,And staid at Home for Double Pay.
Their Kings were serv'd; but KnavishlyCheated by their own Ministry;Many, that for their Welfare slaved, [115]Robbing the very Crown they saved:Pensions were small, and they lived high,Yet boasted of their Honesty.Calling, whene'er they strain'd their Right,The slipp'ry Trick a Perquisite; [120]And, when Folks understood their Cant,They chang'd that for Emolument;Unwilling to be short, or plain,In any thing concerning Gain:For there was not a Bee, but would [125]Get more, I won't say, than he should;But than he dared to let them know,That pay'd for't; as your Gamesters do,That, tho' at fair Play, ne'er will ownBefore the Losers what they've won. [130]
But who can all their Frauds repeat!The very Stuff, which in the StreetThey sold for Dirt t'enrich the Ground,Was often by the Buyers soundSophisticated with a Quarter [135]Of Good-for-nothing, Stones and Mortar;Tho' Flail had little Cause to mutter,Who sold the other Salt for Butter.
Justice her self, famed for fair Dealing,By Blindness had not lost her Feeling; [140]Her Left Hand, which the Scales should hold,Had often dropt 'em, bribed with Gold;And, tho' she seem'd impartial,Where Punishment was corporal,Pretended to a reg'lar Course, [145]In Murther, and all Crimes of Force;Tho' some, first Pillory'd for Cheating,Were hang'd in Hemp of their own beating;Yet, it was thought, the Sword the boreCheck'd but the Desp'rate and the Poor; [150]That, urg'd by mere Necessity,Were tied up to the wretched TreeFor Crimes, which not deserv'd that Fate,But to secure the Rich, and Great.
Thus every Part was full of Vice, [155]Yet the whole Mass a Paradice;Flatter'd in Peace, and fear'd in WarsThey were th'Esteem of Foreigners,And lavish of their Wealth and Lives,The Ballance of all other Hives. [160]Such were the Blessings of that State;Their Crimes conspired to make 'em Great;And Vertue, who from PoliticksHad learn'd a Thousand cunning Tricks,Was, by their happy Influence, [165]Made Friends with Vice: And ever sinceThe worst of all the MultitudeDid something for the common Good.
This was the State's Craft, that maintain'dThe Whole, of which each Part complain'd: [170]This, as in Musick Harmony,Made Jarrings in the Main agree;Parties directly oppositeAssist each oth'r, as 'twere for Spight;And Temp'rance with Sobriety [175]Serve Drunkenness and Gluttonny.
The Root of evil Avarice,That damn'd ill-natur'd baneful Vice,Was Slave to Prodigality,That Noble Sin; whilst Luxury. [180]Employ'd a Million of the Poor,And odious Pride a Million moreEnvy it self, and VanityWere Ministers of Industry;Their darling Folly, Fickleness [185]In Diet, Furniture, and Dress,That strange, ridic'lous Vice, was madeThe very Wheel, that turn'd the Trade.Their Laws and Cloaths were equallyObjects of Mutability; [190]For, what was well done for a Time,In half a Year became a Crime;Yet whilst they alter'd thus their Laws,Still finding and correcting Flaws,They mended by Inconstancy [195]Faults, which no Prudence could foresee.
Thus Vice nursed Ingenuity,Which join'd with Time; and IndustryHad carry'd Life's Conveniencies,It's real Pleasures, Comforts, Ease, [200]To such a Height, the very PoorLived better than the Rich before;And nothing could be added more:
How vain is Mortals Happiness!Had they but known the Bounds of Bliss; [205]And, that Perfection here belowIs more, than Gods can well bestow,The grumbling Brutes had been contentWith Ministers and Government.But they, at every ill Success, [210]Like Creatures lost without Redress,Cursed Politicians, Armies, Fleets;Whilst every one cry'd, Damn the Cheats,And would, tho' Conscious of his own,In Others barb'rously bear none. [215]
One, that had got a Princely Store,By cheating Master, King, and Poor,Dared cry aloud; The Land must sinkFor all its Fraud; And whom d'ye thinkThe Sermonizing Rascal chid? [220]A Glover that sold Lamb for Kid.
The last Thing was not done amiss,Or cross'd the Publick Business;But all the Rogues cry'd brazenly,Good Gods, had we but Honesty! [225]Merc'ry smiled at th'Impudence;And Others call'd it want of Sence,Always to rail at what they loved:But Jove, with Indignation moved,At last in Anger swore, he'd rid [230]The bawling Hive of Fraud, and did.The very Moment it departs,And Honsty fills all their Hearts;There shews 'em, like the Instructive Tree,Those Crimes, which they're ashamed to see? [235]Which now in Silence they confess,By Blushing at their Uglyness;Like Children, that would hide their Faults,And by their Colour own their Thoughts;Imag'ning, when they're look'd upon, [240]That others see, what they have done.
But, Oh ye Gods! What Consternation,How vast and sudden was the Alteration!In half an Hour, the Nation round,Meat fell a Penny in the Pound. [245]The Mask Hypocrisie's flung down,From the great Statesman to the Clown:And some, in borrow'd Looks well known,Appear'd like Strangers in their own.The Bar was silent from that Day; [250]For now the willing Debtors pay,Even what's by Creditors forgot;Who quitted them, who had it not.Those, that were in the Wrong, stood mute,And dropt the patch'd vexatious Suit. [255]On which, since nothing less can thrive,Than Lawyers in an honest Hive,All, except those, that got enough,With Ink-horns by their Sides trooped off.
Justice hang'd some, set others free; [260]And, after Goal-delivery,Her Presence be'ng no more requier'd,With all her Train, and Pomp retir'd.First marched 'some Smiths, with Locks and Grates,Fetters, and Doors with Iron-Plates; [265]Next Goalers, Turnkeys, and Assistants:Before the Goddess, at some distance,Her cheif and faithful MinisterSquire Catch, the Laws great Finisher,Bore not th'imaginary Sword, [270]But his own Tools, an Ax and Cord;Then on a Cloud the Hood-wink'd fairJustice her self was push'd by Air:About her Chariot, and behind,Were Sergeants, 'Bums of every kind, [275]Tip-Staffs, and all those Officers,That squeese a Living out of Tears.
Tho' Physick liv'd, whilst Folks were ill,None would prescribe, but Bees of Skill;Which, through the Hive dispers'd so wide, [280]That none of 'em had need to ride,Waved vain Disputes; and strove to freeThe Patients of their Misery;Left Drugs in cheating Countries grown,And used the Product of their own, [285]Knowing the Gods sent no DiseaseTo Nations without remedies.
Their Clergy rouz'd from Laziness,Laid not their Charge on Journey-Bees;But serv'd themselves, exempt from Vice, [290]The Gods with Pray'r and Sacrifice;All those, that were unfit, or knew,Their Service might be spared, withdrew;Nor was their Business for so many,(If th'Honest stand in need of any.) [295]Few only with the High-Priest staid,To whom the rest Obedience paid:Himself, employ'd in holy Cares;Resign'd to others State Affairs:He chased no Starv'ling from his Door, [300]Nor pinch'd the Wages of the Poor:But at his House the Hungry's fed,The Hireling finds unmeasur'd Bread,The needy Trav'ler Board and Bed.
Among the King's great Ministers, [305]And all th'inferiour OfficersThe Change was great; for frugallyThey now lived on their Salary.That a poor Bee should Ten times comeTo ask his Due, a trifling Sum, [310]And by some well hir'd Clerk be made,To give a Crown, or ne'er be paid;Would now be called a down-right Cheat,Tho' formerly a Perquisite.All Places; managed first by Three, [315]Who watch'd each other's Knavery,And often for a Fellow-feeling,Promoted, one anothers Stealing,Are happily supply'd by one;By which some Thousands more are gone. [320]
No Honour now could be content,To live, and owe for what was spent.Liveries in Brokers Shops are hung,They part with Coaches for a Song;Sell Stately Horses by whole Sets; [325]And Country Houses to pay Debts.
Vain Cost is shunn'd as much as Fraud;They have no forces kept Abroad;Laugh at the Esteem of Foreigners,And empty Glory got by Wars; [330]They fight but for their Country's Sake,When Right or Liberty's at Stake.
Now mind the glorious Hive, and see,How Honesty and Trade agree:The Shew is gone, it thins apace; [335]And looks with quite another Face,For 'twas not only that they went,By whom vast Sums were Yearly spent;But Multitudes, that lived on them,Were daily forc'd to do the same. [340]In vain to other Trades they'd fly;All were o're-stocked accordingly.
The Price of Land, and Houses fallsMirac'lous Palaces, whose Walls,Like those of Thebes, were raised by Play, [345]Are to be let; whilst the once gay,Well-seated Houshould Gods would beMore pleased t'expire in Flames, than see;The mean Inscription on the DoorSmile at the lofty Ones they bore. [350]The Building Trace is quite destroy'd,Artificers are not employ'd;No Limner for his Art is famed;Stone-cutters, Garvers are not named.
Those, that remain'd, grown temp'rate, strive, [355]So how to spend; but how to live;And, when they paid the Tavern Score,Resolv'd to enter it no more:No Vintners Jilt in all the HiveCould wear now Cloth of Gold and thrive; [360]Nor Torcol; such vast sums advance,For Burgundy and Ortelans;The Courtier's gone, that with his MissSupp'd at his House on Christmass Peas;Spending as much in two Hours stay, [365]As keeps a Troop of Horse a Day.
The Haughty Chloe; to live Great,Had made her Husband rob the State:But now she sells her Furniture,Which the Indies had been ransack'd for; [370]Contracts the expensive Bill of Fare,And wears her strong Suit a whole Year:The slight and fickle Age is past;And Cloaths, as wel as Fashions last.Weavers that ioyn'd rich Silk with Plate, [375]And all the Trades subordinate,Are gone. Still Peace and Plenty reign,And every thing is cheap, tho' plain;Kind Nature, free from Gard'ners Force,Allows all Fruits in her own Course; [380]But Rarities cannot be had,Where Pains to get 'em are not paid.
As Pride and Luxury decrease,So by degrees they leave the Seas,Not Merchants now; but Companies [385]Remove whole Manufacturies.All Arts and Crafts neglected lie;Content the Bane of Industry,Makes 'em admire their homely Store,And neither seek, nor covet more. [390]
So few in the vast Hive remain;The Hundredth part they can't maintainAgainst th'Insults of numerous Foes;Whom yet they valiantly oppose;Till some well-fenced Retreat is found; [395]And here they die, or stand their Ground,No Hireling in their Armies known;But bravely fighting for their own;Their Courage and IntegrityAt last were crown'd with Victory. [400]They triumph'd not without their Cost,For many Thousand Bees were lost.Hard'ned with Toils, and ExerciseThey counted Ease it self a Vice;Which so improv'd their Temperance, [405]That to avoid Extravagance,They flew into a hollow tree,Blest with content and Honesty.
The M O R A L.
THEN leave Complaints: Fools only striveTo make a Great an honest Hive. [410]T'enjoy the World's Conveniencies,Be famed in War, yet live in EaseWithout great Vices, is a vainEutopia seated in the Brain.Fraud, Luxury, and Pride must live; [415]Whilst we the Benefits receive.Hunger's a dreadful Plague no doubt,Yet who digests or thrives without?Do we not owe the Growth of WineTo the dry, crooked, shabby Vine? [420]Which, whist its shutes neglected stood,Choak'd other Plants, and ran to Wood;But blest us with his Noble Fruit;As soon as it was tied, and cut:So Vice is beneficial found, [425]When it's by Justice lopt and bound;Nay, where the People would be great,As necessary to the State,At Hunger is to make 'em eat.Bare Vertue can't make Nations live [430]In Splendour; they, that would reviveA Golden Age, must be as free,For Acorns, as for Honesty.